Bottomless Pit II: Back From the Brink
by hbkcenaortonaddict
Summary: After getting out of rehab, Alexis and Kennedy reunite. Alexis joins Kennedy on the road after his injury; what awaits them in the world of the WWE? Sequel to Bottomless Pit: The Edge of No Return
1. Face to Face

She walked outside and as the cool, crisp air hit her face, she shivered. She closed her eyes, breathing in, ready to face her life out of rehab. It had been 6 long months, but she had managed to heal from her parents death, the loneliness and her addiction.

She had learned so much while she was recovering. She had learned many countless tools that she would carry with her for the rest of her. She knew she could face the world and she was ready for it. She wasn't sure where she was going to go, but she knew it couldn't have been much worse than what she had already been through.

She walked to the edge of the curb, waiting for her ride to show up. Her nerves were getting the best of her, as she hadn't seen Ken in nearly 3 months. He had managed to visit her for a while, but after his injury, he had to take countless time off to heal his own wound.

She wasn't sure how they would react to one another. He was still her best friend through it all and that was at least comforting. She began playing with fingers, a habit she realized she had when she was nervous or stressed.

The large, black Escalade came into view as she drew another deep breath in, knowing in a matter of minutes, she would be face to face with Ken. She waited for what seemed like an eternity before he finally parked the car and exited the vehicle.

She saw him round the back of the car as he stopped before crossing the street. The pair look at one another, nothing else evident in the world at that moment as they let time stand still. Her smile slowly grew bigger as she ran across the street and jumped into his arms, not being able to contain herself anymore.

He spun her around, as he held her tightly. She snuggled into his neck, not wanting to let go before he placed her back on the ground and cupped her face in his hands. Their eyes locked, as they smiled at one another, not wanting to speak but simply capture the moment and hold it in each of their minds.

"Hey," he finally spoke, as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Hey, yourself," he answered back, her hands wrapping around his neck and drawing him near.

His lips touched hers tenderly before he grabbed her waist, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. She had missed that feeling and was surprised it had more of an affect on her now that it had before. She felt her knees weakening as he steadied her more before pulling away.

"You look good," he replied, taking her hand and spinning her around.

She stopped and faced him again, the smile still plastered on her face. She felt like everything in her life was falling into place, but with Ken here with her now, everything seemed to be perfect.

"I've missed you," she said, her smile fading slightly.

"You don't know how good it is to see you, baby," he agreed, before ushering her to the passenger side and helping her into the SUV.

"So, where to," she asked, ready to get the rest of her life started.

"I'm not really sure," he replied, smiling her direction.

"When do you return to the WWE," she asked.

"Oh, baby, I'm not even cleared until February. Seeing as we still have Christmas ahead of us, it looks as if your stuck with me for the next 2 or 3 months," he said, smiling.

"I can learn to live with that," she said, shaking her head.

"Learn to live with it? Is that a joke or are you be sarcastic with me," he asked, sneaking a look at her as he drove down the highway.

"Take it how you want it. I'm just glad to be with you, Ken. I don't know if I could have done this without you," she said, a serious tone taking over.

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere and I meant it. Not now, not ever. Trust me," he said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently.

"You know, I just realized. My parents house was sold. Where am I...." she began, before he cut her off.

"Don't worry. I've already had that taken care of for months," he replied, smirking in her direction.

"What's that look for," she asked, turning in her seat to face him.

"You'll see when you get there. It's a surprise. I just hope you say yes, because if not, well..." he said, trailing off as he pulled into his driveway.

"If not, what," she asked, as she hopped out of the car.

"You'll see," he replied, ushering her into the house.

"Ken, what is it," she asked before entering the house.

She looked around the foyer as she entered and did a complete turn, staring at several items in the house that looked familiar. Her love seat was positioned against the wall in the living room, there was her diplomas and pictures hanging on the wall, but the thing she noticed above all else was the pictures that she saw when she first entered the house. Positioned in 3-tiers were her parents, Ken's parents and a picture of she and Ken directly in the middle. She turned around with tears in her eyes and embraced him.

"Thank you," she whispered, as he kissed the top of her head. "But, is there something you wanna ask me," she asked, pulling away from him and smiling.

"Oh, yeah. Almost forgot," he said, smiling. "Would ya move in with me?"

She brought his lips to hers, kissing him with every fiber of her being. He placed his hands in the back pockets of her jeans, squeezing her rear and bringing her closer.

"Is that a yes," he asked, giving her a sly smile.

"You're so dense," she said, kicking her shoes off and continuing to walk around his house. "So this is home?"

"This...." he said, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "...is home."


	2. Protection

"So, are you coming on the road with me?" he asked again, as he stared across the table after finishing his dinner.

He had received the phone call from his boss shortly before dinner, and while he was excited to return to his own comfort zone, he was more worried about Lexi. He had extended to offer to her, and she hadn't excepted the way he had thought she would.

Actually, she hadn't given him a solid answer since she had returned home, which bothered him to some extent. He didn't want to smother her in anyway; he had been told if he did, it might compromise her recovery. At the same time, he knew what it was like losing her once. He never thought walking out on her was a wrong decision; not even once. But it didn't take the pain away. He knew it was the right choice then and looking back now, he was relieved he had done it.

He was in fear that if she didn't come on the road with him, she would return to her old ways. She had no safety net if he were to leave, and that worried him. She had just started dealing with her parents death on her own and he was proud of her for that. She had managed to complete the program, but he knew how easy it was for her to relapse, too.

"So, are you not going to answer me all night?" he asked, trying to get her attention by snapping his fingers.

"No, but I am going to think about it." she answered, finally looking up at him.

"What is there to think about? I mean, you've always wanted to travel, you love wrestling, we'd be together. What more persuasion do you need?" he asked, flashing a smile.

"It's not that I don't wanna be with you or travel. I just wanna weigh all my options and think about it. Ken, I just got out of rehab. This is all a little overwhelming for me." she sighed, sitting back in her chair.

"I know, baby." he said as he stood and made his way to the back of her chair. He placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them slowly before resting his chin on her head. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Ken, no matter how hard it is for you to believe this, I'm not going to return to drugs. Don't worry about that. I've seen the dark side and I like being able to feel things again. It's something you wouldn't even understand, unless you've been there."

"I've been there." he replied in barely a whisper, before he walked into the living room, leaving her to shocked.

"What did you say?" she asked, coming into the living room behind him.

"I've... been there." he repeated, slowly.

"What? When?" she asked, the questions coming a little to fast. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was while you were in rehab." he replied, taking a seat on the sofa. "I got mixed up in some steroids and some painkillers and I'll tell ya. It was the worst decision of my life." he said, leaning back and closing his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, taking a seat beside him.

"I didn't know if it would be the best thing to do while you were in rehab. I knew I was going to tell you once you got out, I just didn't expect for it to come out like this."

"What happened?" she found herself asking. "How did you get off them?"

"Well, I didn't really wanna do it to begin with. Especially the steroids, but when your in the line of work I am...." he said, before stopping and looking at her. "You know what? No matter what I say, it doesn't make it right for what I did. It was a bad decision. I thought it would help my career and it didn't."

"Ken, you're smarter than that." she replied.

"Yeah, I thought so, too, but at the time, I was alone without you and I finally understood where you were coming from. I think I found myself where you were after your parents died. I thought I was going to lose you and then you went into that facility and I hadn't seen or talked to you for so long. It was some scary shit!" he said, running his fingers through his short, blond locks.

"That it is. So, is that why you started calling me again?" she asked.

"Partly, yeah. I wanted to tell you that I understood how you felt and while I don't regret walking out of that hospital room, I do regret not talking to you while you were there. I'm just glad I decided to call." he said, squeezing her leg gently.

"Me too. So, you return when?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, Vince wanted me to return a little before Christmas to get my face back on TV. I think he wants me there for the 800th episode special." he answered, looking at her and giving her a smirk.

"Maybe a change of scenery would do us both some good." she agreed.

"So, is that a yes?" he asked, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah, it is." she said, shaking her head. "So, when do we leave?"

"Next weekend." he answered, simply.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a bath." she said, standing and heading for the stairs.

"Alright." he said, watching her leave the room.

He hadn't brought the subject up about their relationship, and he realized, neither had she. He wasn't sure where he stood anymore and it was beginning to weigh on his mind, like an ever present secret he was dying to get off his chest.

He stood, deciding while he was thinking so much, he would clear the dinner dishes and think to himself in his quiet, lonely bedroom.


	3. Unknown Factors

She tossed and turned in her bed, drifting in and out of sleep. She had had a few nights, much like this one, but they had came few and far between and she hadn't had one for quite some time. She couldn't figure out why sleep was coming as a problem for her. The only thing she could think of was it being her first night away from a comfortable setting and her first night out in the real world.

Not that Ken's house was uncomfortable.

She had been there many times; even sleeping over in the same room before. If she had to pick anywhere to be, it would be his home. But there was so much going through her head that evening, between Ken's offer of traveling and Ken, himself, she figured sleep would come hard for her that night.

She was glad to be back into the swing of things, back into the daily grind, but she wasn't aware that her relationship with Ken would be a huge question for her; even more of a question then when she had entered rehab. At least then she was certain that they were together, or at least she thought.

So why was it such an unknown factor now?

There was so many questions she couldn't answer. She was happy Ken hadn't treated her any different like she half-expected him to. She at least had her best friend back. She knew when it came down to everything, she could rely on him come hell or high water. That much wasn't in question. She clinched the Kennedy teddy bear closer to her heart and closed her eyes.

It was a present he had given to her while she was still in rehab, after he had started calling her again. It was the form of comfort she had needed and it was something she held onto when these moments popped up of uncertainty. She found it to be a comfort measure of home while she was away, and even now when he was only in the next bedroom down the short hallway, she found herself cuddled next to it, wishing it was him.

The thoughts of her parents were heavily on her mind, too. She had finally started to grief their death when she was still in rehab, but she hadn't realized what a change it would be once she was released. It was something that never crossed her mind. She figured she could take it day by day like she had before and things would be alright. But, every time she closed her eyes, their faces almost haunted her.

All she ever wanted to do was make them proud and she knew in the bottom of her heart, she hadn't done that. She knew her being an addict wasn't what her parents thought she would become, but the fact still remained, she was simply that. An addict.

The term even made her shiver. It was something she never foresaw for her own life. She hadn't realized how much life could change at the drop of a dime and it was something she was still learning every day.

It was partly why she didn't expect too much from her and Ken. She knew it, too could change, and from the outcome of things, apparently it had done just that. It was something she was going to have to face and grasp before things became to complicated or painful for her to deal with.

She would never turn back to the drugs, but the thought was ever present in her mind. And at times, the temptation was almost too much to turn down. She knew all the skills she was given in treatment had worked for her so many times before and if she applied them to her life now, they would work again.

She sighed, as she sat up in bed and flicked the light on at the side of the bed. Sleep wasn't happening tonight, so she decided to slip into the kitchen and grab a glass of wine just to relax her a little bit. She knew it probably wasn't the best choice of therapy for sleep, but it was the only thing that would help her unwind.

She slid into her slippers and drew the silk robe around her nightie before grabbing the Kennedy teddy bear from the bed and descending the stairs, careful not to wake Ken into the process. As she walked through the living room, she stopped after noticing there was light shining from the kitchen.

She inched herself along the wall, listening closely to the footsteps hitting the linoleum floor. She looked at the clock hanging on the wall and realized it was after midnight. She shrugged her shoulder, wondering what Ken was doing up in the middle of the night.

"Yeah, I went and picked her up this morning. She seems to be doing well." she heard him say.

She heard the muffled voice on the other end of the phone and smiled to herself, realizing he had still remembered to call his mom at the same time every night. His mom was on a different time zone then they were, so it was about 2 hours earlier, her time.

"I don't know, mom. I know I still have feelings for her, but right now, I'm just trying to be the friend I know she needs. I don't wanna complicate things anymore for her. I don't know what she went through, but I don't wanna compromise her progress by putting too much on her at once." he said, sighing.

She stopped and pressed her body flat against the wall as she clinched the bear closer to her heart. It had been the confirmation she had longed to hear, but never wanted to bring forward. She still wasn't sure how she was going to bring the subject up to Ken, but knowing his feelings, it made her sigh a breath of relief and took so many pressing issues off her mind.

"Alright, mom. It's after 12 here, so I'm gonna hit the sack, but I'll call you tomorrow." she heard him say. "I love you, too. Bye."

She heard him grab a glass from the cabinet and open the refrigerator door before she decided to make herself seen. As she entered the kitchen, she stretched and gave off a fake yawn before he turned and smiled at her.

"You actually sleep with that thing?" he asked, pointing towards the bear she held in her hands.

"Yes, I do. It's a measure of comfort for me." she replied, matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'm glad someone gets use out of it. Sales didn't too well on that one." he replied, grabbing another glass from the cabinet. "Want some milk?"

"Uh, yeah." she agreed, realizing sleep might be a little easier to come by than she originally thought.

She sat on the bar stool positioned around the island in the center of the kitchen and watched him pour a second glass of milk before sliding it her way and returned the milk to the fridge. She brought the glass to her lips as he took the spare seat beside her and drank from his own cup.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, placing the cup on the counter and twirling it in circles.

"Yeah, something like that." she replied, watching him intently.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, looking over at her.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's a lot to take in for the first day, but I'm trying." she said, sipping at the milk once more.

"Well, if you need to talk or anything...." he said, trailing off, looking at her with a serious tone.

"I know." she said, softly. "I know. Thank you." she said again, kissing his cheek gently before placing the glass in the sink.

"Anytime." he whispered, bringing the glass to his lips once more.

"You going back to bed?" she asked, standing in the arch way between the kitchen and the living room.

"Uh, yeah. I'm just finishing my milk." he said, smiling as he held up the glass.

"Alright. I'll see you in the morning?" she asked, arching her brow.

"Yeah. I'm gonna take you out for lunch tomorrow afternoon, if you're up to it." he said, looking at her once more.

"That would be nice. I guess I'll see ya tomorrow." she said, smiling before she turned to leave. "Night." she said, calling over her shoulder.

"Night, sweetie." he called after her, before swigging at his milk once more and sighing.

He hadn't realized keeping his feelings at bay would be so hard, but he wanted to make things as easy for her as possible. There was so many questions he fought with himself, and he didn't know the answer to any of them. Instead, it only raised more unanswered questions. But, there was one thought he had pressing him even more than the others.

He found himself battling with the thought that it was the pills that made her take an interest in him. Maybe the only reason she hadn't mentioned their relationship or the way she felt was for the simple fact that she saw him as simply her best friend; the guy she had known for years.

Maybe that's how she wanted it to stay.

He wasn't sure, but thinking about it tonight wasn't helping and he knew he needed sleep or else he wouldn't be up in the morning to get anything done. He couldn't harbor on his thoughts to much or else they would drive him insane.

He placed his glass in the sink and walked up the staircase slowly before he reached the top. He saw her bedroom door cracked slightly and decided to peek in on her. As he pushed the door open slowly, he smiled seeing she had curled under the covers, the bear still grasped closely to her small body.

At least she was safe and sound, he thought, as he made his way to his own bedroom and crawled under the covers.


	4. Waiting

"So, are you always this tired when you travel?" she asked, as she stretched in the car.

"You'll get used to it, but yeah, the traveling part is tiring." he said, smiling at her from the driver's seat.

"So what all are you doing tonight? I mean, you can't wrestle yet, right?" she asked.

"No, I can't do that yet, but I'm suppose to appear live for a few minutes to talk and then that's it." he replied.

"So, are we staying for the entire show or..."

"Well, that's up to you." he said, cutting her off.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking at him confused.

"Well, if you want to watch the show and then return to the hotel, we can. Or, I can leave early and we can go out and do something. It doesn't matter to me." he said, staring at the entrance to the arena.

"As long as I get Shawn Michaels and Triple H to sign this..." she said, unbuttoning her coat and revealing her DX shirt. "....I'll be a happy girl at the end of the night."

"Alright." he said, laughing. "That shouldn't be too hard to do."

"Really?" she asked, sounding like a child on Christmas morning.

"No. I mean, Shawn and Paul thrive on signing stuff for over-excited fans." he said, smirking at her.

"Funny, Ken." she said, slapping his arm as they pulled into an empty space in the parking lot.

"You ready for this?" he asked, as she stepped out and looked at the vast building in front of her.

She watched as men rushed around her carrying large bags heading for the huge bay door that was opened for them. She hadn't seen the fast paced world of the WWE as she was now and it interested her to no end. The smile on her face was apparent as Ken grabbed her arm, leading her towards the side doors.

"Come on, Lex." he said, laughing as she continued to watch in amazement.

"What do we do before you go on tonight?" she asked, following him closely.

"That's the fun part." he said in a sarcastic tone.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, we get to sit around, maybe eat something from catering and then wait until 9:50 when I go on for my little 3 minute spot." he said, smiling.

"We...wait?" she asked, looking around.

"Yeah, pretty much." he said, as he opened a door marked 'Male Talent'.

"I have to go in here?" she asked, covering her eyes with her free hand.

"It's alright. Everyone's dressed." he said, laughing once more.

"I don't have to sit back here, do I?" she asked, uncovering her eyes slowly.

"No, I figured you'd wanna be front-row, center tonight, so I got you these." he answered, handing her a front row pass and a backstage lamented necklace.

"Thanks." she said, accepting them and looking at the tickets.

"You'll have to wear this." he said, placing the necklace over her shoulders before their eyes locked.

She felt her breath become lost in the back of her throat, as Ken touched her shoulders. They hadn't been that close to each other that often since she had returned home, and it was moments like that she missed the most. While they had never gotten intimate with one another, no matter how long she had pondered on the thought, if she could cherish any moment with him, it would be the times they were both on the same page, no confusion, when their eyes locked onto one another, time was lost and the world stopped spinning.

The gentle looks from Ken, the warmth of his fingers when they softly grazed her skin, the way he licked his lips before they parted to speak. Little, simple things she had once let go unnoticed that now she never took for granted. She had learned so much while she was recovery, but the thing that she had learned was how she didn't realize she would miss something so small, until it wasn't there anymore.

"Hey, Ken! This one yours?" came a voice from behind them, ruining the moment the two were sharing and causing them both to turn and face Ken's co-worker and friend, Matt Hardy.

"Something like that." Ken replied, winking at her as he wrapped his arm around her neck.

"Well, you going to introduce me?" Matt asked, displaying a mischievous smile.

"Alright, Hardy, but no funny business." he warned before laughing. "Lexi this is Matt. Matt, Lexi."

"Nice to meet you." she said, quietly before extending her hand, to which Matt accepted generously.

"Likewise. So, what are you doing with a rat like Ken, anyway?" Matt asked, smiling in Ken's direction.

"Actually..." she started, as she looked at her friend and smile. "...I've known Ken almost my whole life."

"Oh, you poor child. I'm sorry." Matt said, before slapping Ken shoulder. "I'm just messin', man."

"Right, right. Listen, I'm gonna show Lexi around, but I'll catcha later, alright?" Ken said. "Tell Jeff I said hi."

"Will do. Nice meeting you, Lexi." Matt replied before walking off in the opposite direction.

"Nice meeting you, too." she called after him, before returning her attention back to Ken. "So, what are we going to do for another...." she trailed off, as she peered at her watch. "...4 hours?"

"Like, I said, we wait." he said, laughing playfully as she groaned, before her grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway.


	5. Stay Forever?

"That was...." she said breathlessly, as she stared at the ceiling, a smile plastered on her face.

"Yeah, I know." he said, looking at her with the same expression on his face.

"And, I can't believe I met Shawn Michaels! That was...." she said, trailing off, again.

"I know, Lex. You've said that the entire night." he reminded her.

"I know, but I just can't get it out of my mind." she said sighing, as she rolled over on her stomach.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, but you haven't said one thing about my little appearance." he said, displaying a sad puppy-dog face.

"Oh, God, Ken. You know you were awesome." she said, nudging his shoulder.

"Yeah, I was, wasn't I?" he said, closing his eyes.

"And you wonder why I didn't say anything." she said, laughing.

"That hurts, Lex." he said, pouting again.

"Oh, shut up!" she said, hitting his arm and grinning.

"Ouch!" he said, laughing, as he propped himself up on his elbows to look at her. "I have to head back on the road next Tuesday for a couple days. I was wanting to ask if you wanted to join me?"

"For how long?" she asked, leaning up against the headboard.

"Looks like until Friday, but that could change, too." he answered.

"I have an appointment with my therapist on Wednesday morning and then my Al-Non meeting on Thursday afternoon." she answered, her face dropping.

"Well, it's alright. I'll only be gone a couple days and then I'll be home Friday afternoon." he said, reassuring her.

He felt the fear rise within him when he realized she would be alone. He knew the moment would come sooner or later, when their schedules didn't match up and something would keep her home instead of joining him on the road. He figured it wouldn't be for a while now, but he couldn't ask her to cancel her meetings, either. It was vital that she continued going to her out-patient therapy, especially since she had just graduated from rehab.

It was something he would have to get used to, and he knew he would eventually. As long as she was healthy and off the drugs. It wasn't the fact that he couldn't trust her; he knew the temptation was there and he didn't like leaving her alone so soon.

"It'll be alright, Ken." she whispered, rubbing his hand, almost as if she was reading his mind. He hated it when she did that, sometimes.

He looked up at her and pursed his lips together before giving her a half-smile. He was sure it would be. He would call and check up on her every night, just to make sure she was readjusting to life outside of rehab.

"I know it will be, sweetie." he said, squeezing her hand lightly.

"I mean, eventually, I'll be getting a place of my own. I can't life with you forever right?" she said, giving off her own weak smile.

Once the words left her mouth, he felt his heart stop beating and the sense of breathing was lost. He hadn't thought of her wanting to get her own place. He had thought she was content and settled in his place and it wasn't even a passing thought that a day would come where she would be moving out on her own.

"Ri-right." he answered, his mind reeling.

"Well, I'm going to jump in the shower and then head to bed. Tonight was...." she said, trailing off, as she stood from the bed, deep in thought. "...amazing. Thank you." she said again, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before she bounced into the bathroom.

The truth was, she didn't want to move from Ken's place either. She was perfectly happy and felt complete at his place. After realizing they had reestablished their relationship, she realized she might have to look for a place of her own, sooner or later, no matter how much she didn't want.

She wasn't anywhere near that point now, but she knew eventually, she would be. And when that time came, she would face it then. She couldn't dwell on it now, or else, it would drive her insane with the range of emotions that she would face. She had too much on her plate at the time being and she had to focus on as little as possible, for her own sake.

As she let the warm water hit her aching muscles, she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath in. The water helped relax her, which was exactly what she needed at the point. Her feelings had been up and down since she had gotten to Ken's house, especially after neither one of them had talked about their status with one another.

It was something she was completely ready for; something she had wanted before her addiction. It was the one constant she had thought would be rewarding and comforting with everything she had dealt with in the past year. With everything up in the air and not spoken for, it proved to be the one thing that was more confusing and unclear than anything else.

She had remembered what he had said on the phone with his mom just a few nights ago and even now, it made her heart jump. Of course, he didn't know she had overheard, but it was one moment where she felt so sure about everything. His words would repeat in her head through the night and it was a soothing method to help her fall asleep, much like it had that night.

She wasn't sure what the future held for her and Ken, but knowing he cared for her, she felt she could take the world on and still come out on top. Knowing he had spoke the words and she had heard, she felt like everything was going to be alright and things would eventually fall into place. She wasn't sure how or when, but she knew things would work its way out for them.

Rather that meant they were together for the rest of their lives, or they would continue being the best of friends for all eternity, she wasn't sure. But, everything would be revealed in time.


	6. Leaving On a Jet Plane

She smiled to herself, as he stripped the Kennedy shirt off and groaned. He was very particular about his clothing and today was no different. He turned and saw her smiling at him as he mocked her and turned back to the closet.

"What's the difference what you wear?" she asked.

"It doesn't really make a difference, but I don't wanna wear that shirt because I'm not scheduled to be on TV tonight." he replied, grabbing a long-sleeve, button-down dress shirt.

"Then why are you going again?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"Because, I have a couple promotional things they want me to do. Plus, I have a few meetings that Vince wants all the talent to attend." he answered, buttoning the shirt.

She watched him for a couple more seconds, as she realized he would be leaving soon and she would be alone in the house for the next couple of days. She didn't know where the time had went, but a week had went by rather quick. She thought she had prepared herself for his leaving, but a new set of emotions overtook her, as she continued watching his every last movement.

"So, what time will you be home on Friday?" she asked, as she watched him rummage about his bedroom.

"I figure it'll be closer to 6, but I'm not sure. It shouldn't be too late." he replied, over his shoulder.

"I guess I could make something for dinner or something, that way it'll be ready when you get home." she offered.

"If you want too. I mean, I can call you when I'm leaving the airport to give you some time." he agreed.

"That'll work." she said, slowly, lost in her own thoughts.

She didn't want to watch him walk out the door. The week had went by entirely too fast for him, too but it was Tuesday evening and he would be leaving in under an hour. She couldn't believe how much he hadn't changed over the years.

Where she would have had her bag already packed the night before, Ken would wait until the last minute and then rush around an hour before he was about to leave to pile things into his suitcase. To say he was disorganized would be an understatement, and on many occasions, it made her laugh. Sometimes, it pissed her off to no end, thinking they would be late to wherever it was they were going.

But now, she only wished the minutes would pass by slower. It was almost too much to bare thinking about him leaving, but she knew she would have to face it and accept it and move on. She wasn't worried about falling back into old habits. She just didn't want to be alone.

She even felt herself that it was too soon into her recovery, but she would have to deal with it sooner or later. And, sooner came faster than later did.

"I wish I didn't have to go, either." he said, sitting on the bed next to her, reading her mind.

She looked up at him, still amazed that he had read her thoughts. It was something he had became rather good at over the years, and she hadn't minded one bit.

"I know, but it's your job, right?" she said, shrugging her shoulders, feeling the tears burn her eyes, but not allowing them to fall.

"Yeah, I know." he said, sighing. "I'll call you, though. I promise."

"I know you will. It's just not going to be the same around here while your gone. That's all." she replied, simply.

"I know. But, I'm sure the days will pass by quickly and I'll be home before you know it. Then you'll be complaining about my socks laying around the house and how much of a slob I am. You'll want me to go back on the road." he joked, trying to lighten the mood, forcing her to crack a small smile.

"I'm still going to miss you." she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his chest.

He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, as he embraced her and rubbed her head gently. He didn't want the moment to end and he could've stayed with her like that forever, but if he did that, he would miss his flight and possibly end up on suspension or losing his job.

"As much as I'm enjoying this..." he started, before placing a kiss on the top of her head and looking at her. "...I've gotta get going."

"I know." she whispered.

"I know you wanna come with me, but you've gotta take care of things on your end." he said softly.

"I know." she repeated.

He gave her a weak smile before grabbing his suitcase. She stood from the bed and followed him closely as he made his way to the front door. He sat his bag down and turned to face her again.

"I'll see you on Friday." he said, stroking her cheek gently.

She felt the hot tears stinging her eyes, begging to fall. She sniffled, not wanting them to fall, but they spilled down her cheek as she closed her eyes. He shook his head slowly and embraced her once more, the sight of her tears almost broke his heart in shreds.

He clung to her with everything he had, wanting to remember her scent, the way she felt against his chest, the way she made his heart race. He didn't want to leave, either, but he knew he had to do things for himself, much like she had to. It was the harsh reality of life they both had to face.

"It's alright, Lex." he soothed, rubbing her back gently.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

"Sorry for what?" he asked, pulling away and looking at her.

"I didn't mean to cry and I didn't want to, but...." she began.

"It's alright, honey. It's alright." he said, smiling as he embraced her again.

"I guess you better get going if you wanna make your flight." she said, pulling away from him and wiping the wetness from her cheeks.

"I'll call you when I land." he said, grabbing his bag once more.

"Alright. Be good." she said, cracking a smile.

"You know me." he said, tilting his head to side and smiling along with her.

"Bye, Ken." she whispered, as he turned and opened the door.

"Bye, Lex." he said, looking at her once more.

His insides were longing to kiss her, but he withstood his own temptation and simply smiled before he turned and walked towards his car. She sighed as she leaned against the heavy door and watched him fire his engine, give one final wave and back out into the street.

She continued to watch until his tail lights had been long gone. She closed the door and made her way back upstairs, where she retrieved her bear from her bed and made her way back into Ken's room. She found the shirt he had thrown off after his shower. She inhaled deeply, realizing it still had the same, familiar scent she had grown used to.

After removing her clothes, she slipped it on over her head before slipping under the covers of his bed. It was a comfort measure she was used to from when they were teenagers. If something scared her throughout the night, she found herself sneaking out her bedroom window and climbing the drain pipe of the house next door. She would peek softly on the window before he would answer and she would slip into bed with him.

The measure of comfort she felt then hadn't changed over the years, and even if he wasn't in the bed next to her, she knew it was the only place in the house that would help her fall asleep. She closed her eyes, as the hot tears stung her eyes once more. She didn't force them back this time; instead, she let them fall down her cheeks.


	7. Save at Last

She had returned home from her meeting an hour before, and after cleaning the kitchen and the living room, she sat on the couch as the boredom set in. She was overwhelmed, as well. She had heard so much at her therapy meeting the day before and her meeting that afternoon, that the information was still reeling in her head.

It was a new set of rules she would have to apply to her life now that she was back into the swing of things. And she knew she would adjust in her own time. She couldn't force it, or else she would be right back to square one. She refused to depend on drugs. She knew she was better than that and she valued her life, more so now than she probably ever had before.

She had thought of Ken the entire time he had been away, and the tears had fallen, especially at night, but somehow she had managed to occupy her time throughout the endless days. She had been going to bed especially early in an attempt to hurry time even faster. But, time seemed to travel even slower, as she would wake up in his bed, alone, in the middle of the night. She would usually lay there, trying to fall back asleep, but instead, she would listen to the sounds of the house or the wind blowing against the window before sleep finally overcame her.

The phone calls had been comfort for her. She tried to make them drag on as long as possible, but she knew he was incredibly busy with work, so she tried not to keep him too long. He had tried making the conversations as light as possible. He tried to keep away from the fact he had missed her, just so the calls wouldn't get too emotional. He knew she was in a fragile state as it was. He didn't want to add to it any more.

She had talked to a few of her friends from the meetings to pass the time, too. It was nice talking to people who understood where she was coming from and it was a healing method in her recovery. She had realized they were more people who understood her feelings and many of them had been in her shoes before; sometimes more than once.

As she slipped his shirt over her head and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand, she wiped her watery eyes and climbed beneath the covers. She had grabbed the picture from the foyer downstairs the day before and placed it on the nightstand by his bed. It was more of a comfort measure for her and it worked, somewhat.

She hadn't realized she had depended and needed Ken so much. She had never cried so much over someone being gone, besides her parents. She found herself becoming clingy, needy and an emotional mess over the past couple days. She knew she was dealing with a lot of stress and there was a lot stacked on her plate, but she never thought she would react to his leaving in such a manner. She found it almost childish at times, but it was something she couldn't help.

She placed their picture on the pillow beside of her and smiled. She had remembered the day the picture was taken. She hadn't realized Ken had had a copy of the prom, but she chuckled to herself remembering how her date was jealous about her mom insisting on them getting a picture together. She had pictures of she and her date, but her mom had wanted pictures of she and Ken together as well. She loved the photo of the two; it was probably her favorite shot of them together. She was glad he choose that one.

As she clinched the tissue in her hand and snuggled deeper into bed, with the bear grasped tightly to her heart, she felt her body finally succumbing to sleep.

* * *

He opened the door quietly, careful not to wake her. He looked around the house and realized she had been on one of her infamous cleaning sprees. He knew things were getting to her, now. She was taking things harder than what she had been letting on in their phone conversations.

He sighed as he placed his bag by the door and removed his coat. After making his way through the living room and into the kitchen, he grabbed a glass and ran some water into it. It had been a rough couple days and now, all he needed was sleep. He hadn't gotten much while he was away, and he knew mainly it was due to her not being close to him, but now, with him back in his own house, he could rest easily.

He was told he wouldn't have to attend the meeting on Friday morning, so instead of catching a flight in the morning, he opted for a flight home late that night. He knew she wouldn't be awake, or at least he was hoping she was able to sleep, but part of him was wanting to run upstairs and jump on her bed to surprise her. More than likely she would have clocked him good for it, but she would be happy to see him at least.

He placed the glass into the sink and headed up the stairs. He noticed his door was opened slightly as he arched his brow and pushed it open slowly. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he saw her, clinching his bear tightly to her chest, sound asleep in his bed.

He recalled the times she would climb through his window when something would scare her. He hadn't minded in the least that she would crawl into his bed. It was a form of comfort for him, as well. She had trusted him fully and he was grateful for that. He realized that was when his feelings probably started to develop for her.

As he neared the bed, he saw the picture of them resting on his pillow and smiled again. He hadn't realized she had missed him so much, but he was relieved to see she had. It made his heart swell and race even faster.

He thought about waking her and help her into her own bed, but decided against it, wanting nothing more than to feel her body against his that night. As much as she had apparently missed him, he missed her that much more. He grabbed the tissue that was still waded into her hand and placed it on the nightstand as he stripped down to his boxers and placed the picture back on the nightstand.

As he crawled beneath the covers, he caught a glimpse of his shirt wrapped around her body and chuckled once more. He grabbed the bear and placed it on the floor, as he wrapped his arms gently around her small waist and brought her against his bare chest.

She stirred slowly, as her hand ran across his stomach and came to rest on his bare chest. He smiled as she snuggled into the crock of his arm.

"Ken..." she whispered.

He smiled to himself, realizing for the first time in weeks, he felt complete once more. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her forehead, as he yawned and sleep came easy for him that night.


	8. Confusion

She felt the warmness of his hand wrapped securely around her waist as she opened her eyes. She sat up slightly and looked at a still sleeping Ken and smiled. She hadn't realized he had came in after she fallen asleep, but she was relieved he was finally home.

She kissed his cheek gently, as he began to stir and his eyes finally opened. He smiled at her, as he wiped the sleep from his eyes before wrapping his arms around her once more.

"I missed you." she whispered.

"I can tell." he replied, kissing her forehead. "I missed you, too, Lex."

"When did you get in?" she asked.

"Last night, sometime after midnight." he replied, smiling and rolling over on his side, as he continued to look at her.

"What?" she asked, chuckling uneasily.

He didn't say anything, but continued to look at her as if she had some explaining to do. She looked around the room and rolled her eyes.

"I...couldn't sleep and I didn't think you'd mind if I slept in your bed." she replied slowly.

"No, that's not it." he said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Then what?" she said, laughing.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you are in the morning." he replied, stroking her cheek gently.

"Ken...." she said, trailing off, as the heat rose in her cheeks before she buried her face in his chest.

"I'm serious. When was the last time we woke up next to each other?" he asked.

"I...don't remember." she answered honestly, looking at him.

"Well, I think..." he said, as he moved closer to her and traced the outline of her bottom lip with his thumb. "...it was long overdue."

"Really?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I do." he said, inching closer to her.

"Ken..." she whispered, closing her eyes.

"What Lexi?" he replied.

"I...." she managed to say, as she opened her eyes.

"You what?" he asked, smirking at her.

"I...." she repeated, not able to make a clear thought, as she felt his breath hitting her neck.

"Lexi...." he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"What are we doing?" he asked, as he pushed her gently back on the bed, his lips inches from hers.

"I....don't know." she replied honestly, as her heart raced with anticipation.

"I don't know either, but...." he began, before his lips barely grazed her neck, sending chills through her entire body. "...you're driving me crazy." he whispered against her ear, as she closed her eyes, letting the sensation take over.

He looked at her once more and stroked the side of her cheek before he inched closer to her lips once more. He watched as she licked her lips slowly before he brushed his lips gently across hers. She was taken aback at first, but allowed him to proceed.

He pulled apart slowly and looked at her, wondering if he should continue or not. After looking into her eyes, he couldn't resist no longer, as his lips finally claimed hers, his entire body aching for something he had wanted for so long. She moaned against his lips, as she ran her fingers through his short, blond hair.

He kissed her cheek, before making his way to her neck, where he gently sucked the sensitive spot just below her ear. She moaned again, as his hands ran under the large shirt as he allowed his fingers to play with the string around her hips. He continued to tease her, as he slowly slid his hand inside her panties. She gasped as she arched her back, his lips finding hers once more.

He rubbed her gently before he grabbed her panties and slid them down her waist and threw them onto the floor. He pulled the shirt up slowly, revealing her breasts. He arched his brow and smirked before sliding it over her head and threw it to floor, as well.

His lips grazed hers once more, as he traced his tongue gently across her bottom lip. He hands ran across her taunt stomach, as he grabbed her hips once more, deepening the kiss. She ran her hands down his chest, as she bit his lip playfully. He looked at her and smiled, knowing he had her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking at her delicate features.

"Ye-yeah..." she managed to say. "Ken...." she whispered.

"What, baby?" he asked.

"I....."

"You what?" he said, smirking at her.

"I..." she began again.

"You what, Lexi?" he asked again, looking at her.

"I....can't." she managed to say.

"You can't what?" he pressed.

"I can't...do this." she answered simply.

"It's... alright." he managed to say, as he laid back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling.

"It's nothing like that, it's just...."

"It's just what, Lexi?" he asked, looking at her.

"I don't know. I mean..." she stumbled, trying to find the right words. "....I don't know."

"Well, if you don't know, I sure as hell don't know." Ken said, standing from the bed. "I mean, what the hell is going on, Lexi? You leave for treatment and I thought we were together and then you come back and it's this shit." he said, his voice slightly raising.

"You don't think I'm just as confused. I don't want to do anything because of that reason and you get all pissed." she said, standing from the bed and grabbing her shirt.

"Because of what reason?" he asked, sliding his pants around his waist.

"Because ever since I've been back, we've never actually sat down and talked about a relationship. I don't wanna do anything if it's just going to be that, Ken. I want more than just sex." she answered, raising her own voice.

"You think I just want sex from you?" he asked, shocked.

"I don't know, Ken. You can admit to everyone else but me that you care. We haven't talked about being together at all!" she retorted.

"Does that even make sense?" he asked, thinking to himself.

"What?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"We've never even had sex and you're saying that's the only thing I want!" he said, stepping forwards.

"Ken, I'm just as confused as you are!" she yelled back.

"Oh, I'm not confused any longer. You put things into perspective for me real quick. Honestly, I thought you knew me better than that, Lexi!" he said, before storming out of the room.

She watched as he stomped out of the room, wondering how things had escalated to that level. She hadn't meant to come off the way it sounded. She just wanted to talk about their relationship, where they stood with one another. Everything was so twisted and confusing that her thoughts weren't coming in a clear manner and it was starting to give her a headache.

She sighed and grabbed the rest of her belongings before storming out of the room herself and entering her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her and flopped down on her bed. She needed to clear her head before talking to Ken again. It was time she got her feelings straight and then they could decide what type of relationship they had.


	9. Just Breath

"Can you pass me the salt please?" Ken asked, not looking up from his plate.

"Here." she said, throwing it in his direction, as the crystals flew on the table and onto Ken's shirt.

"Nice. Thanks." he replied, sarcastically as he wiped the salt from his shirt.

"You're welcome." she retorted, sweetly.

He rolled his eyes, as he salted his food and slammed the shaker back on the table. They hadn't spoke the entire day since their argument that morning. She hadn't even planned on coming downstairs, but she had gotten hungry and knew she had to eat something.

Ken hadn't tried to be nice to her either. Instead, he had avoided conversation with her when it was necessary. She didn't want things to get the way they were, but she knew when Ken was mad, he usually had his mind made up and there was no talking him down until he had cooled off himself.

"Do we have to be like this?" she asked, dropping her fork onto her plate.

"Like what? Friends? You're decision, not mine." he retorted, shoveling another bite into his mouth and smiling, revealing the food particles in his mouth.

"Oh, that's gross, Ken. Real mature!" she said, pushing her chair back from the table.

"Mature, huh? Alright, let's talk about mature, shall we?" he asked, pushing his own chair back.

"Ken, I just wanna talk." she said, easily.

"Sure, we can talk. We're _friends_, right? That's what _friends_ do is talk, right? They certainly don't have sex, right?" he said, glaring at her angrily.

"Jesus, Ken, that isn't what I meant and you know it!" she yelled, throwing her plate into the sink, causing it to shatter on content.

"Smooth move, x-lax!" he retorted.

"Ken, grow the fuck up!" she yelled, as she picked the large pieces of glass from the sink. "God! You get under my skin, you piss me off and you wonder why...."

"No, I wonder what your intent was this morning, that's what I wonder." he said, setting his plate on the counter beside the sink. "Move, I'll get it." he said, softly, as she stepped backwards.

"Ken, like I said this morning, I'm just as confused as you are." she repeated.

"I'm not confused. After this morning, like I said, everything is in perspective. Apparently I want something that I can't have." he replied, shrugging his shoulders as he placed the glass into the trash can.

"What's that suppose to mean?" she asked.

"It means, just that. I can't have what I want." he replied again.

"What? Sex?" she asked.

"Lexi, how in the hell can I have something I've never even had?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "And there you go again. For your information, that's not the only thing I was wanting." he replied, pushing past her and making his way into the living room where he flopped onto the couch and picked up a magazine.

"Then what do you want? I know you pretty well, but damn it, I'm not a mind reader. You need to tell me these things." she said, sitting down in front of him.

He ignored her comment and instead, flipped the pages in the magazine, pretending to be intrigued by the contents. She rolled her eyes, and bounced her foot on the floor, waiting for him to say something.

"Ken...." she huffed, grabbing the magazine from his face. "Answer me." she urged softly.

"You want me to tell you?" he asked, glaring at her.

"That would be nice." she replied.

"I want my best friend back. I want the girl I knew for so many years. I want the girl I.... fell in love with. Goddamn it, Lexi, I want you!" he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Why couldn't you tell me that before?" she asked, moving his hand from his face.

"Because I didn't want to put too much on you at once. You've went through a lot this past year and I was not going to be the reason you relapsed. I'm here to help you. Like you said, I'm not a mind reader." he replied, his voice lowering.

"Ken, I've been wanting to hear that for so long. I mean, when I got out, we've had an awesome friendship. We never missed a beat, but I want something more." she said, looking at her hands. "I just don't know if that's passed us by."

"Why would that have passed us by, Lex? We never really gave it shot last time. I was always on the road, you were dealing with a lot. We never really put our relationship first. Everything else was more important." he replied. "For both of us."

"I know." she replied softly.

"So, what do we do about that now?" he asked.

"I...don't know." she replied honestly.

"Well, I guess we have two options here." he answered.

"What's that?" she asked, looking up at him.

"One; we could continue being friends, because that's never failed us before, right?" he asked.

"Right." she replied, sounding defeated.

"Or...." he continued. "...we can give you and me another try. We never did try before and personally, you knock my socks off, kid." he said, smiling at her.

"Ken!" she said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious." he replied, lifting her chin, forcing her to look at him. "My world stops spinning, my knees go weak and time stands still when you look at me." he whispered.

She looked at him, arching her brow, as she realized he had finally shared his feelings with her. It made her heart swell with more emotion than she thought was possibly.

"And when you kiss me...." he continued, inching closer to her and cupping her face in his hands. "...I forget to breath."

He didn't allow her to respond; instead, he captured her lips, allowing her to experience the way he felt. She felt the chills run through her body, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her against him. He deepened the kiss, as she moaned against his lips and she felt her own knees grow weak. He pulled apart slowly, as they opened their eyes and looked at one another.

"I love you, Lexi. I've waited so long to say that." he whispered.

"I love you, too, Ken." she replied, breathlessly. "I've waited just as long to hear it."


	10. 1 Year

She drew a deep breath in and let the warm, spring sunshine hit her face. The warmth of the weather was about the only cheerfulness she found on that day. Everything else seemed out of place, surreal and the pain was almost too much to bare.

She pushed her sunglasses down off her head and placed them over her red, irritated eyes and pushed forward. Somehow she had to continue on with her day, even if it would be the hardest thing she would do. She didn't know where her strength would come from, and frankly, she didn't care. She just wanted today to be over with, so she could move forwards.

Even if that seemed harsh and not at all possible, she had to look ahead.

As she climbed into the large SUV, she managed a weak smile as she looked at Ken before staring ahead, not saying a word. He was worried about her. She had became relatively distant over the past few weeks, and he couldn't imagine the pain she was feeling. He couldn't even begin to understand it. He hated seeing his girlfriend suffering the way she was.

"You sure you're ok?" he asked, as he made his way through the early morning traffic.

"Yeah." she replied simply, not taking her eyes away from the road.

"You know if you wanna talk, I'm here, right?" he urged, wishing she would say something else besides the simple, one-answer replies he had grown accustom to hearing recently.

"I know, Ken." she said, slightly irritated.

"Lexi..." he trailed off, before relieving a deep, exhausted sigh.

"What Ken? What do you want me to say?" she asked, throwing the glasses from her eyes and glaring at the man beside her.

"Anything you say would be more than what I've gotten from you here lately." he exclaimed, looking at her, pleading for her to talk to him.

"And what's that suppose to mean?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"Lexi, I don't know. I just wish you would talk to me a little more. I don't know what you're feeling or what you're thinking. I know you're going through a lot right now, but damn, you used to talk to me." he replied softly.

"So, what would you tell me?" she pressed, almost challenging him.

"What?" he asked, thrown off by her bitterness.

"Never mind." she hissed, slumping down into the seat as she stared out the window.

He slammed his palms into the steering wheel and focused on his driving. He realized talking with her was going nowhere, and he didn't want to press the issue any further than he already had. He didn't want to fight with her.

He just simply wanted to understand where she was coming from, what she was feeling and to see her actually deal with her emotions, instead of suppress them and not tell him anything.

They drove another couple minutes in silence, before he drove up the short roadway to the graveyard. He heard her release a long breath as he parked the car and cut the engine. Her knee began shaking as he turned in his seat and gave her a weak smile.

"You ready for this?" he asked softly.

She continued looking out the window, knowing what lie ahead of her, but not really sure herself if she was ready to face the reality of why she was here now. She finally looked at Ken and simply shook her head before he exited the car and made his way to her side. He helped her from the car, all the while, her eyes fixated on the large stone positioned just mere feet in front of them.

She had never had the strength before to visit her parents grave site after their burial. Instead, she would give Ken money on different holidays and occasions to pick some flowers or wreaths out to place on their site. She knew she couldn't get around not coming any longer, especially since the anniversary of their death had arrived.

She needed to visit them for clarity and understanding for herself. She needed to get everything out she had been holding in for so long. She would never forget the family gatherings and parties, Christmases and other holidays, first days of school and graduations, dances and proms, birthdays and vacations.

So many memories came flooding back to her and without warning, the tears came spilling down her cheeks. She had no words to say at the moment. Instead, her emotions sent her reeling; unable to think, unable to speak.

She collapsed onto her knees to the ground, as her shoulders shook, the pain stabbing through her, like a hot, searing knife piercing through her soul. She continued to sob uncontrollably as Ken knelt beside her, the tears evident in his own eyes, as he simply gathered her in his arms, trying to console her in any way he could think of.

"I'm so sorry." she managed to say through her tears.

"Shhh, baby." he cooed, trying to calm her. "It's alright."

"I'm so sorry." she muttered once more, grabbing at his shirt, as she only cried harder.

"Baby, why are you sorry?" he asked, forcing her to look at him.

"I never wanted to disappoint them. I only wanted to make them proud. To make you proud." she cried, as she wiped at her tears with anger. "I'm so sorry I let you all down." she screamed.

"Baby, you didn't let anyone down." he said softly, stroking her cheek gently.

"I'm an addict, Ken. Look at me!" she yelled, her voice breaking through her tears.

"I am, Lexi. I am." he said, grabbing her shoulders. "You're a recovering addict. They would be so proud of you for the help you got and how far you've came over this past year."

"I should have never touched those pills. They should still be here, with me!" she yelled, the tears spilling over once more.

"Baby, I know. I know." he said, bringing her close once more.

"It's just not fair." she whispered, her shoulders shaking.

"I know, sweetie." he said, as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Ken, I'm sorry." she said softly.

"Baby, it's alright. It's alright, okay? Look at me." he said, cupping her face in his hands, as she looked up at him. "Nothing I say, or nothing that anyone says for that matter is going to take this pain away. It will get better, but right now, you've just started dealing with it. You're in the grief, honey. You're just not calling it what it is. Do you think they wanted to leave you? They didn't know. And you coped with it the only way you knew how to. Deep down, I know they understand that and they are proud of their daughter. You got the help you needed and they would be proud of that. They _are_ proud of that. I know they are."

"I know." she whispered, looking at the marker once more. "Can you just give me a minute alone?" she asked, looking at him as she wiped the fresh set of tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be in the car when you're ready." he said, as he helped her stand on her feet once more. "I love you."

"I love you, too." she said, managing a weak smile.

Ken smiled in return before turning around and making his way back to the car. Lexi sighed deeply before turning back to the marker. A fresh set of tears sprung to her eyes, as she made her way to the large stone and knelt beside of it. She traced her finger over the bubbled picture and closed her eyes.

"I've only ever wanted to make you proud. I'm sorry for the way my life has turned out over this past year, but I coped with it the way I thought was right. I tried masking the pain and no matter how high I got, it was still there in the end." she stopped, as she sniffled, but managed to continue pouring her heart out.

"I know you would at least be happy, Mom, that Ken and I ended up together. You always said we would and I remember you saying how good he would be for me. You we're right. You and dad were always right." she whispered, as she smiled for the first time, before she wiped the last few tears from her cheeks.

"I promise to make you proud and to never do drugs again. I never thought it was possible to have a life after the accident, but slowly, I'm learning that even though I miss you guys and I will until the day I die, I can be happy and have a life. A piece of me will always be missing and I will carrying you with me the entire way." she said as she stood and looked up at the cloudy sky.

"I love you guys." she whispered, as she kissed the tip of her fingers before touching the picture once more.

Finally feeling like everything was off her chest, she turned and headed back towards the car where Ken was waiting. As she slipped into the passenger seat, she smiled at him and grabbed his hand.

"I'm sorry I've been a royal bitch towards you here lately." she said, frowning.

"It's alright, baby. I know you've had a lot on your mind. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." he said, as she stroked her cheek gently.

"I know." she said, shaking her head. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Lex." he whispered, as he leaned over and brushed his lips against hers gently. "Forever."

"And always." she said, smiling, as she kissed him gently once more.

"Do you always have to get the last word in?" he laughed, as he started the car.

"I wonder where I get that from?" she retorted, smirking in his direction.

"I have no idea." he said, innocently.

"Oh, I wonder!" she said, smiling to herself.

"Where?" he asked, giving her a sideways glance.

"Mrrrrrrr. Kennnneddddyyyyy." she bellowed, before erupting into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, I'm so gonna get you for that one." he said, smirking at her.


End file.
